wonder-FULL, bag-FULL!

pepper-ed lunch with ruthy, rach n cass last friday..
fun, fun, funny!
talked about obs and all..
awhh.. such fond memories =)

sun tanning planned.
sentosa on mon.

was lookin forward to it and all..
YET the stupid sun juz REFUSED to come out!
shessh.. wad an attempt.

anyways..
we still had fun!
LOTSA.

met all the nicest ppl around!
we had discounted rate plus an additional free ride for chair-lift,
a free human-locker,
a courtesy ride in the beach petrol buggie,
etc, etc...


















rain rain go away..

















thanks to Mr. couple =)

















chhoo chhoo tram..

















chair-lifting our way up.

















rach's faking it! laughs.























up, up, we go!


















see wad i mean?! rach's an absolute BIMBO!


















mocking away =P






















such be-a-u-ti-ful scenary.

















wad serenity..


















sweetx


















chair-lifting our way down!


















dangling feets


















off the chairlift we go!























at the luge point.


















ready, get set, go!


















the squashed buggie ride. thanks eng! =)






















love my besties!


















at the southern most point.


















home sweet...
















home..! =)


nah.. thats for rach and ruth.
not me!
went to look for adrian after sending the girls back.
wanted another luge ride with the beach petrol co..
sighh. but we were too late.

den royston treated tiramisu and hokey pokey double scoop!
thank you!
u melted the awkwardness and made me smile =)

on da way out the island..
met faisal on the bus!
gosh.. i miss that boy!

oh wells..
late dinner was great!
so was pool session with guys.
parklane thats it.
omg and thomas is a freaking pool expert!
royston's not bad too.

oh and in da middle of my pool game..
bump into alex!
wad coincidence?!
he was juz a few tables away
and i was tt observant to missed him.


anyways..
a day well spent =)

flop!



a chance,
an opportunity,
its all im asking for.

if only, if only..

i wish i could.

shut the fuck up.

i hate my mom!
seriously.. What The Fuck is wrong with her?!

so what if she's my mom?!
tt doesnt give her the RIGHT to go through my stuff!
its MY bills, MY letters!

like hello!!
please show some basic courtesy and respect for ur daughter here!
im alrdy 18 going on 19.
stop intruding on my privacy!
so what if u are my mom?
want me to respect u?!
den show me some respect first.

fuck.

burn-ed out.

one last paper tmr
and tt determines my life in TP.

FAIL and THAT'S IT.


gosh my sleepin time is damn screwed up.
woke up at 13:00 ytd, slept at 05:00.
woke up after 2hrs den went back to sleep at 13:00.

juz 2more nights
and you will see my system crashing.

busy busy busy.

schedule for the next 2 days..

0930 - 1130 : microE supp
1400 - 1800 : lunch with ruthy n rach
1900 - 0530 : zouk

- SLEEP

0830 - 1730 : affirm @ indoor stadium
1900 - 0530 : zouk


let me survive.


stella oh stella..
u've got to wait till next month to get ur tortise!!

not my fault.

i wana watch my matchmaker play!

and i wana shop!
BADLY.



why cant it be me?

collapsed.

so yesterday.

biz stats supp was good.
im confident. =)

met grace, von n connie after the paper.
walk round suntec,
den slack our day away at gardens.


















love the sky garden.


















this was meant to be some form of encouragement.
but as usual, i woke up late.
so nvm. crap.


in da cab..

grace: i realise something.
me: i realised that too.

i know.
but i do not know why.
contradicting?
nvm.

anyway..
screwed up my microE today.
i shd have studied.
i shd have.

there's so many i shd, i shd..
i shd have,
i shd have not.

why wont i learn my lessons?!
why cant i be more discipline?

argh.

sometimes i really hate myself..
so much so that i wish i nv lived.
and if that's so?
how can i expect anyone to like me?!
ridiculous aint i?


u've tried,
so did i.

blinded.
u will never see,
never understand.


wadeva it is..
i juz felt like doing,
so i did.

that simple.

adapted from.

isnt it funny.
how someone can mean so much to you.
but you have to pretend otherwise.

isnt it amusing.
how you can let something go.
and not try to get it back
though it hurts you so.

behind those eyes with emptiness.
left an abandoned box of love.
till the heart heals and beats again.
that box will remain sealed.

eu.



tell me
this is getting no where..

tell me why
it seems fine living in a lie..

boredom kills. [edited]

zouk-ing on a sat night..
think its happening?!
NO...! not when u are stuck at work.

im bored, im bored!
dum dee dee dum dum..


met grace before work for a quick shop,
- fruitful
a short biz stats revision,
- productive
and a moment of girl's talk.
- interesting =)

tell me more babe!

had c.jade for dinner..
yummy yum yum!
i love xiao long bao!
but the share for la mian was.. OMG!
were ubber bloated till grace had to forsake
her fav chocolate milkshake from Mc.Cafe.
can u imagine how full we were?!


dropped by starbucks...

grace: why you so nice to her??
me: haha.. im not! if u like them, i'll buy them for u as well!

*smirks*

grace: thot u wanted mocha?
me: nah.. not in the mood for that. choc frappe's more like it.
grace: i love that! its my fav! and ......

dots.



this place is filled with guys! cute ones.
how sadden-ing.
i want girls!
like those at von's work place.
this is unfair!

someone in mambo walked pass..
i think he's cute.

saw my name for the first time
and it feels good to see ur name back on the board.

survived my first NIGHT at work.
im dead beat.


...

fun @cartel

i know im so dead.
missed my NMM supp.
gosh.. ok i feel bad.
sorry darren, sorry yong zhuang.
wasted ur effort for stayin up to wake me.
sorry =(

met grace after work at cartel gardens.
*smiles*
carried out our surprise visit.
was she shocked? or was she not?
hmm.. nvm.
at least i saw her.
oh and this pretty girl behind the counter!! =)

manage to cover 3 - 4 chapters of biz stats,
grace was good!
thank you!













































































von the best WAITER @cartel.


end of chapter.



has it been kept?
or thrown aside?

im cool pls.

no more circus nor petrol station-like uniform!
no more door hostess!
no more surf 'n' turf!

cuz THIS..














is where im workin now =)

back.

okie.. im updating.
was Missing-In-Action for days,
so here's an account on my disappearance.

let's see..
last entry - friday morning 0410hrs
afterwhich,
i was kidnapped to camp.
and so happened my phone got terminated,
thus, no one could get hold of me.

surprisingly mommy din go to the police.
laughs.

anw, i was stucked in camp from FRI to SUN
and i only had a total of 3hr 15min of sleep!
omg can u imagine??
wad a waste of time.
i could have use it to study for my supp papers!!

Business Accounting = F
MicroEconomics = F
Business Statistics = F
Macro Economics = F
Network MultiMedia = F
Communication Skills = C

crappy shit!

but thanks to dif n ale,
camp wasnt tt bad afterall.
apart from my sis of cuz.
everything was ok, not too bad.
phoebe came back!
so did thong, joce and su.

and i realise a resemblance between thong and eemin.
i mean seriously.
was totally malu-ated when
i blurt out her name instead of kemin's in font of the rest
and that was damn shit.
really, i had no idea why.

yeah wadever.
dead beat when got back..
the only thing i had in mind was
BATHE and SLEEP.

next day,
went back to school for NMM supp lecture
again a waste of my time!
like hello..!!!
u wan me to go back sch at 8 in the morning
at least show me something worth going for la!
omg it was damn stoopid.
how dumb can they get?!
seriously who duno how to [br] or change [font color = " "]?!
though apparently someone really din know.
*roll eyes*
wad an idiot.

den came biz stats supp lecture..
went in an hr late,
thought i made an entrance
but still, wasnt noticeable enough.
nvm,
wasnt planned anw.

got a shocked of my life when i heard her voice.
oh wells.. no biggy.
as usual my existence was un-known.

laters, went over to socks
got her to teach me biz stats.
and we managed to cover 6 lectures in 3hrs.
productive =)

wrapped up late,
so i slept over.
and guess wad?!
i ended up with a fucking swollen red eye this morning!
dun ask me why.
ask the fucking concentrated solution!

argh.
gonna look like some ugly freak for the whole of this week!
no contacts for me =(
boo.


there's nothing more precious in this world
than the feeling of being love and wanted.



do you hear the words i say?

you are still the spell im under
do you even care?


lil imp.

daddy's girl.

see a point in living?
i dun.

wdz the pt?!
i mean..
sigh. nvm.


kinda miss my dad i guess.
haven seen him for a week or so.

juz a few months back..
no matter how busy my parents were,
we'll still have family dinner every night.

and i love having supper!
cuz ttz when i get to pick wad i want to eat
and dad will buy them home for me =)

den mommy will start her scolding: "stop spoiling her will you?! ......"
hee. mom's jealous! =P

also, dad used to pop into my room every now and den
irritating me till i go all mad.
the next thing you will see,
is him being chased out of my room.
but now..
i miss havin him poppin in with all his lame jokes.

i know i still have my mom.
but i dun tell mommy stuff that i talk to dad about.
its juz different.
mommy wont understand.

i know little brother miss him too.
he kept askin when's daddy comin home.
if only i can strike lottery or something,
den dad wont have to work this hard.
cuz i will pay him to entertain the family,
and everyone will be happy! =)

daddy i miss u.
i know u miss me too.. (mommy tells me so. )
i know u feel bad having to work till late night
and not being able to take care of the family
other den supporting us with the money u earn.
i wish i cld help.
but if i start workin again,
i will have even lesser chances of seeing you.

sigh.

cheapthrill. [edited]

guess who appeared in my dream last night?!
haha.. HTM.

*BEAMS*

and when i woke up this morning...
checked my friendster,


























what a pleasant surprise.

squashmate please dun kill me.
its not the real.

LAUGHS.



i close my eyes,
hoping that you are doing fine.

there's nothing in the world that cannot be,
if u believe.
so girl, juz hold on tight,
and soon everything will be in place.
if u believe.

remini-SC-ence.

was talkin to rach about our holiday plans
den we drifted to school
and slowly the topic was switched to relationships,
and me being a passive.

we talked alot about perspective of love
and it was when i really poured everything out.
things that i've kept for yrs.

so bestie den realise that i have been keeping so much stuff to myself cuz i thought she would never understand.

guys are juz too far away from me.
not cuz im so into the les world,
but they simply turn me off.
i cant get myself to love a guy.
its hard.
i tried. i cant, i juz cant.
what happened back den is still haunting me.

nvm.

yes, and we so happened to talk about eemin
and it brought back all the memories..
it was like yesterday.

her msges were so ubber sweet..

"gdnite my amazing someone,*plants a kiss on ur forehead*"

" i know it means the world to u to go for airborne, but u mean the world to me."

awwwhhhh...
(i know u are so gonna kill me =P)

oh oh and rach was tellin me how anxious eemin was when she din reply to her.
it's damn funny.

the story goes lidat...

after gettin rach's no.,
matchmaker msged rach
but rach din reply till late night.
and when rach finally replied,
it was when matchmaker was about to call her.
LAUGHS. it was alrdy late at night.
funny thing is, i was msgin her den
and she din reply.
i was upset, so i msged rach abt it.
yet on the other hand,
she was telling rach tt she felt bad
for not replyin in case she spoil the surprise.
cute. =)
anyway.. the whole purpose was to get rach to go school early with her.
simply cuz being a class rep,
rach cld get keys to open the classroom
den she can leave the prezzie on my desk.
and i will get a delightful surprise.

















a promise tt was kept =)


i remembered she was rushing my prezzie the whole night and ended up having less den an hour of sleep.
how sweet.
besides, she's got bio test on tt day and training after school k.
wondered how she survived.

and i cant believe that she actually asked leong for rach's no.!?
she was so scared of rach back den!

gosh do i sound like im gushing over her?
ok im not.
but i was, in the past.
thinking back..

how we used to bump into one another along the corridor or the amphi canteen and always pretended as though we duno each other .
and how our friends wld start makin fun. so attention seekin la.
SILLY.






















remember this??!
haha and ur giant strawberry bubblegum lolli is still in my drawer!
bet its way expired.


yaya..
oh wells..
den we moved on to miss goh n her english lessons.
how we use to bullly her by drawin on her blouse using fabric markers
(acts of sammie and tan of cuz)
to throwing smarties box and shooting rubber bands at her
and bluffing her that im sick when i was actually on the phone durin class
to etc and etc.


i miss SC!
i miss my besties!!
i miss the wildness i had.


glad that i live am i,
that the sky is blue......
....... is to see that we grow,
nearer the sky.

buddy day

im so gonna get fired soon!
*beams*
pon work on sat.
excuse being - locked home.
ok i knw ttz lame.
pon again ytd.
din even bother to call.
great.

went k-ster with darren and toady..
amazing?!
i think so too.
haha i was having a hard time 'singing'!
cant catch the chinese words,
all so 'chim'.
and stupid toady said i was oral-ing!!

hey im tryin to improve my chinese here..
cant u guys be more supportive?!
my oral distinction k!
so stop laughing!

















thanks for accompanying! =)


bus ride home was hilarious!
darren was being mean.
kept pickin on the guy next to him.

"omg i cant breath!"
-takes out his pack of fag and start sniffing.
"im suffocating, im suffocating. by the time we reach ur place i wld have died."
-makes funny faces.

LAUGHS.


i miss that girl along the corridor.

so tell me, what's the T word??!

i think this is scary.

people can conclude things
based on their own judgements,
and their very own assumptions.

wad crap?!

besides...
how true is each and every one?
*puts on thinkin cap*


juz a few days ago,
someone told me...

"life now is definately not the same as before.
secondary school life has to be put to the back of ur mind.
u will not be able to survive if u carry on trusting every single person,
ttz way too naive.
u must understand,
the word gullible can NO longer exist in ur dictionary.
u have got to grow up little girl
u were too sheltered back den
now u got to step out of that comfort zone
and learn the society."


this is freaking me!
no no.. i dun wana grow up!!
even so, to grow up doesn't mean u got to be hypocritical
ttz so wrong!

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

i wan to be ME.



anyway,
im not intending to change my wardrobe.
who says i am?!
i like the same old one.

night adventure after work.

what to do when u get all bored??

go to ulu-fied palces in singapore and take pictures!!

know this place?

















what about this?

here's another.

















my night adventure partner.

and we went crazy at the empty road

yes it was tt dark!

it takes alot of courage...


















to do such stopid actions in the middle of no where!!

















stayed alive at the end of it all.






















but got jailed for breakin the traffic rules!!
LAUGHS.


what a night...

movie marathon here i come!

mending the shipwreck.

u were harsh,
i was hurt.
i was nonchalent,
u were hurt too.

im sorry for everything.

was totally overwhelmed when u came over.
the midnight admirer-way of leaving a bottle of yakult n letter written at the prata store was nothing compared to a morning delivery of piping hot hashbrown, pokey strawberry and a note written with an expensive eyebrown pencil.

seeing the effort u put in tryin to mend the wreck
totally touched me deep inside.

im sorry for the nonchalent attitude
i was lost..
too numb to even feel.


anyway i juz wan u to know
i do love u still.
as much or even more den before.

goodnight my special someone.
sleep well tonight.

the sinking of the unsinkable ship.

said u miss me
said u love me
how true?

said u've stop askin

said it wasnt ur fault
but my doings.

say it all.
if ttz how u feel,
if ttz wad u think.

is not that i dun bother,
or dun care.
there's no point.
no matter wad i say,
its not gonna help in anyway.

den let it be.
u stay clear,
and i will stay clear.

its hard to let go but
wdeva times we had
wdeva times we shared.
the memories are enough to bring me through.
i still have ur msg
i still have our convo
in case i need u
i still have them.

im sorry i cant be wad u expect me to be
im juz not good enough.

so goodbye my special one.


so why don't you go your way,
and i'll go mine
live ur life
and i'll live mine
baby, u'll do well
and i'll be fine
cause we're better off separated...

girl, i know we had some good times
it's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
girl you know i love you
i can't deny
can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and i

i know it hurts so much
but it's best for us
somewhere along this windy road, we lost the trust
so I walk away, so you don't have to see me cry
it's killing me so, why don't you go
i'm sorry we didn't make it.